Angry Blog Woman

Listen to me, but I don’t wanna hear you!
Photo Credit

For a long time, I actually avoided participating in social media in any way.  I’ve always had strong opinions on the way social media is influencing modern society.  But I’ve also come to realize that it is a very integral part of life nowadays, so I need to get over myself and join the rest of the world in the global village.

One of the key reasons I started Nappy Head Chronicles was that I wanted to be part of a community, trading and sharing.  Just the other day, vinegarandwater  spoke about that very subject on her blog.  I was starting to feel like the community thing was taking shape for me.

Don’t Drop Your Seed Everywhere

As a relatively new blogger, I have been treading quite gingerly when it comes to discussions and commenting.  I’ve tried to choose carefully where to leave my stamp and I’ve tried to make intelligent observations or ask relevant questions.  Sometimes, I’ve thrown in a joke or two.  The feedback has been very positive on my own blog and in the various discussions I’ve participated in on other blogs.

All in all, it has been a very good experience… until today.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Someone in the blogasphere posted about how her mother seemed unsupportive of her decision to become natural and was always trying to get her to “do something” with her hair.  I made the mistake of commenting on her post.  I thought I was being witty and supportive.

Turns out that I was not.  At least not in that particular blogger’s opinion.

She was quite hostile in telling me that she wasn’t sure whether or not I was being snarky and condescending but that she was choosing to believe the worst.  She went on to give me quite the tongue-lashing (or the blog equivalent as such).  She informed me that she doesn’t carry the burden of all black women, and that her post was not whining or a need to cheer up.  She also pointed out that she trusts no one and that I don’t know her or her mother.

I was put in my place.

So What Was the Lesson Here?

Everyone comes into your life as either a blessing or a lesson.  In this case, the lesson IS the blessing.

The lesson — the best laid plans really do often go awry.  No matter how good your intentions are, everyone will not always be delighted by what you have to say.  Not all bloggers are created equal.  Just because they choose to share their thoughts and feelings on a miriad of subjects in such a public way, it doesn’t mean that they want or care about your opinion.

“This is what I have to say.  Read it, but keep your thoughts to yourself.”

It took me a minute to get over the shock at this blogger’s utter cynicism.  Then I just felt sad.  Sad that my words had had negative impact on someone.  Sad that sharing my own experience did not comfort her.  Sad that whatever was going on in her world had hardened her so much.  The good news is that I’m over it.  I’m not so jaded by life that I can’t see silver linings, half-full glasses, or any goodness anywhere at all.

Angry Blog Woman is quite right.  I don’t know her.

And after this, I don’t think I want to know her.

How have you dealt with negative feedback on your blog, on other blogs, or in any other forums?

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6 thoughts on “Angry Blog Woman

  1. Oy the blogosphere and the internet in general is full of ppl who enjoy being on their soapboxes and don’t care much for others opinions but their own. And as you experienced some are just downright mean and hostile.

    Having been active in social media and blogging for awhile now I have come across quite a few hostile trolls. You are quite right to stay above the fray, no sense in throwing fuel to the fire.

    Glad to see your blog is growing and I hope to see it grow a lot more 🙂

    • thanks for stopping by judes!

      you and i have talked a lot about how we both feel about social media, so you know that starting this blog was HUGE for me. but, as i said, this is really the only speed bump i’ve experienced. one ornery woman (who’s STILL sourpuss-ish, from what i’ve seen) will certainly not stop me!

      i’m having too much fun!

      😉

  2. Hi, I know exactly what post you are talking about, because it was that post that brought me to your page. I am also a new blogger and ‘naively’ made a comment on a different post in this woman’s blog. I felt attacked, and although I’m not usually confrontational, I too made comments that were ‘out of my place.’ I’ve learned in this world of blogging, not everyone wants to hear your opinion or advice. Hopefully in the future I will have better discretion when commenting on others’ posts.

    • i did notice that the natural hair feed in my wordpress reader included another hostile post from this blogger this morning, but i skipped it because i wasn’t interested in more of that negative energy. hers is NOT a blog that i follow, but she writes on the same topic i’m interested in. since my incident with her, i have not read anything else on her blog, nor do i plan to. as i said, it is her choice to see things through such a poisonous lense. there is very little that can be done to change the outlook of a person like this. wordpress provides bloggers with the ability to approve or to trash comments that come in from the readership. if this person didn’t like what someone had to say, she could have deleted the “offensive” comments and gone about her business. but instead she chose to publish the comment (or comments – i don’t know how often this happens on her posts) and to go on the attack. again, this is a choice she made. she created conflict where there really was none.

      since i haven’t been back to her blog, i don’t know what the exact issue was between the two of you. but the best advice i can give you (not that you asked) is to limit your interaction with this person. don’t get sucked into a downward spiral with her. choose not to perpetuate this bad blood.

      i’m sorry for your bad experience but i thank you for sharing it. always know that your comments and criticisms are always welcome here. and if i don’t like them, i don’t have to publish or even acknowledge them!

      😉

      please visit again.

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